Last Saturday, I was waiting for midnight so I could be the first to call my mom and wish her a “Happy Birthday”. I got up to use the bathroom for a minute, and by the time I came back, I had a new voice mail. “Oh, my god, Stephie! Don’t be dead! ” I […]
One morning in first grade, the principal made an important announcement. “There is a severe head lice epidemic,” he grumbled through the loudspeaker. “The nurse will call classrooms in one at a time tomorrow to check for head lice.” Kelly, the pig-tailed girl that hated my guts from the moment she saw me in kindergarten, […]
Growing up, bathing was always an issue. Nagymama felt that excessive baths led to: -Red Hair (which makes you look like a whore) -All your hair falling out (well, at least it won’t be red anymore) -Kidney infections (resulting in death) I was allowed to take a bath once a week, but showering was forbidden. Nagymama […]
The other day, I bought a three pound bag of red bell peppers on sale for $2. I was delighted with the good deal, but after a few days, I feel guilty because I had only gone through about a pound and the peppers were wrinkling. Nagymama taught me that I should never waste food, […]
