On the ninth day of Sexmas, I delivered to mommy…. Tom Selleck calling. I really do have a hard time telling the difference between Tom Selleck and Burt Reynolds. I guess Tom is hairier… How could we gauge this? Quick – someone invent a Hairometer so you can guess your HMI (Hair Mass Index). I […]
Earlier this week, I was invited to one of those obligatory holiday office party by a pharmaceutical consulting company that hires me for graphic design work. Since I know everyone at this company on a professional level, I was really surprised when one of these techies asked me about my “Sexmas Calendar“. Of course, those two little words caught the entire […]
“I can’t belief you vould drag me up dis early for a stupid trip,” my mother said as we walked towards the main entrance of the Middlesex Mall. Even the security guard looked sleepy as he unlocked the doors and ushered us into the empty corridor. I however, was wide-eyed and bushy-tailed. I was going […]
Growing up, bathing was always an issue. Nagymama felt that excessive baths led to: -Red Hair (which makes you look like a whore) -All your hair falling out (well, at least it won’t be red anymore) -Kidney infections (resulting in death) I was allowed to take a bath once a week, but showering was forbidden. Nagymama […]
Listen to this story read outloud on WXPN. I marvel at my Nagymama all the time. Although she is 98-years old, she has never ONCE in her life had surgery. As a child, I honestly don’t remember her ever being sick. For goodness sake, she doesn’t even have one stretch mark on her entire body! […]
The other day, I bought a three pound bag of red bell peppers on sale for $2. I was delighted with the good deal, but after a few days, I feel guilty because I had only gone through about a pound and the peppers were wrinkling. Nagymama taught me that I should never waste food, […]
Nagymama always said… that your insides would explode if you held in a fart. What did your family tell you about farting?
Anyu and Nagymama always said… that poop would come out of your mouth if you didn’t poop for more than 3 days. What did your parents tell you about poop?
The whole series of Andrea’s amazing “Lessons from My Mother” embroideries got me wondering if you are related to someone superstitious or know someone that has any of these batty theories! So, I’m holding a contest! Post any of your hilarious or interesting wives’ tales, superstitions, and general hilarity right here – the winner will get […]