On the sixth day of Sexmas, I delivered to mommy….
ELVIS PRESLEY GYRATING!

If Roy Orbison wasn’t playing on Ye Olde Cassette Player, it was a tape of Elvis Presley’s rendition of “I’ll Be Home For Christmas” or “Here Comes Santa Claus”. Played in June.

I’m pretty sure Anyu thinks that Elvis’ death was a big hoax. “Oh, Stephie,” she would say while she flipped through a Weekly World News claiming to have spotted Elvis in some Florida condominium. “It vould be a better vorld if only dah real Elvis vas alive…and all dah Elvis impersonators vere dead.”

Amen to that, Mama.