After I came out from the bathroom during my family’s weekend retreat, my family noticed that had changed into comfortable red fleece bug-eyed penguins pajamas with matching velvet penguin flipflops.

Anyu looked at me up and down and made the same face she always makes when she’s disappointed. “Stephie…had yer boyfriend seen dose pee-zamas?”

“Yes, he’s seen them, he thinks they’re cute.”

She just shook her head.

“Stephie, with pee-zamas like dat, you’re never gonna get laid.”