Each and every year, no matter how much I protest, my family always buys me clothing. I can’t tell you how many times I have received some kind of hideous knitted sweater that is 10 times the size of me with some kind of gold-foiled flower on the bosom. Since I am about a foot […]
No matter how hard I look for “the perfect gift,” every year my mother opens her present, make a sour face, and says, “Oh, is dis from the Dollar Store?” “No, Mom, they don’t sell 24K gold necklaces at the Dollar Store, but you keep looking.” She then looks at me suspiciously. “Did somevon just […]
My cousin Erin usually hosts the family Christmas party. Over the years, Erin has learned that if she wants a party to get started at 2 pm, she has to tell my aunt Sophie that it is at noon, so my aunt will have sufficient time to wake up late, shower, make a sumptuous breakfast […]
After Nagymama’s last run-in with the law, my mom was very hesitant to allow her to walk anywhere. But one beautiful spring day, Nagymama insisted that she needed to go buy a lottery ticket from the corner store because of the upcoming $4 million “Mega Jackpot.” “I’m doing this for the good of the family,” […]
Last year, my family and I had just gotten back from one of our usual holiday excursions to HomeGrown Buffet, and my cousin Irina and I were sharing juicy gossip on the couch while Nagymama neurotically rearranged the items in our house. “Oh, Cousin,” she cooed, using her usual Balki Bartokomous impersonation, “Once again, your […]
