My Christmas Gifts

Each and every year, no matter how much I protest, my family always buys me clothing. I can’t tell you how many times I have received some kind of hideous knitted sweater that is 10 times the size of me with some kind of gold-foiled flower on the bosom. Since I am about a foot […]

Anyu’s Christmas Gift

No matter how hard I look for “the perfect gift,” every year my mother opens her present, make a sour face, and says, “Oh, is dis from the Dollar Store?” “No, Mom, they don’t sell 24K gold necklaces at the Dollar Store, but you keep looking.” She then looks at me suspiciously. “Did somevon just […]

The Christmas Cards

My cousin Erin usually hosts the family Christmas party. Over the years, Erin has learned that if she wants a party to get started at 2 pm, she has to tell my aunt Sophie that it is at noon, so my aunt will have sufficient time to wake up late, shower, make a sumptuous breakfast […]

Cat Food?

Last year, my family and I had just gotten back from one of our usual holiday excursions to HomeGrown Buffet, and my cousin Irina and I were sharing juicy gossip on the couch while Nagymama neurotically rearranged the items in our house. “Oh, Cousin,” she cooed, using her usual Balki Bartokomous impersonation, “Once again, your […]